Here is a list or signs that will help you identify if you are at a Filipino Party. Feel free to comment and add any observances you may have to help others identify if they are indeed kickin’ it at a Pinoy Party.
~You’re an hour late and there’s still nobody there!
~There’s enough food to feed the Philippines.
~You can’t even get through the door because there’s a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.
~You see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino, and a barrel man.
~Someone is singing “Peelings” on karaoke.
~There’s a piano in the living room for decoration.
~You are greeted by a Tita Baby and/or a Tito Boy.
~The older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, poker or 31, the women are in the kitchen gossiping, or are playing mahjong, the other people are in the entertainment room singing karaoke, and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised.
~There’s a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling, “Uy peeeek-chuuur!”
~You enter the party and you “Mano” to half the old crowd and when you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that’s related to you as a sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.
~You hear a male’s voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”.
~Women are still doing the line dance to “todo todo “..
~When there’s at least one or more with the name : JP,JJ, JT,TJ,DJ,AJ, RJ,LJ, Jun Jun, Bing bing, Ting ting, Ding ding, Weng weng, Bong bong, Dong dong etc.
~All the old aunties and guests are already wrapping up food to take home.
~You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70″ LCD in the movie room,
~The 10 yr old 50″ CRT in the living room,
~The 15 yr old 30″ tube in the breakfast nook,
~The 20 yr old 15″ tube in the kitchen,
~The 30 yr old 13” tube in the garage
~And the Little portable by the BBQ grill,
Because TVs are NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn’t have a TV yet(hahaha),then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at the house again.
~The women are showing off their “designer” Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet.
~Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you’re not sure if she’s the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway.
~Relatives/friends will ask you where you work and if it’s a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they’ll ask if you can get them a discount.
~The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch..
~I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night!!
~If you wrap a paper towel around any of the food, it becomes translucent.
~There needs to be at least one rice cooker. If there is no rice cooker, expect someone to go out and get a rice cooker themselves.
~If some stranger shows up at the party that you don’t recognize yet looks Filipino, everyone assumes that he or she is a relative.
~If you are thirty or over, conversation will always be about what high-paying jobs your kids have. And if your kid does not have a high paying job, it’s about what high paying job their spouse has. That’s because, among Filipinos, “conversation” is really a thinly-disguised game of clannish oneupmanship.
~There will always be tiny children running around the room, or crying. That is because Filipinos do not believe in baby-sitters.
~Everyone will be pretty much sitting down on chairs, the floor, or standing with a plate of food in front of them … unless karaoke is involved.
~There are 12 different dishes claiming to all be called the same thing
~Every car outside is a Toyota or BMW…or if it another type, it has stuffed toys in the rear window.
~The stereo is turned on, really loud, so is the tv and the kids are playing Nintendo.
~You put twice as much food on your plate that you normally do and the hostess asks you if you are on a diet.
~When a soda can is opened and hisses, everyone looks around.
~Every time your mom introduces you to someone, there is a “tita, tito, lolo, or lola” attached to the beginning of their name.
~More that half the people are either a Nurse and/or a letter carrier.
~When you use the “comfort room” there is no toilet paper but only a large cup.
~You caution non-filipino friends to avoid dishes jokingly referred to as “Chocolate Soup”
~When you yell out “Kuya Boy” and twelve jokers stand up.